1
00:00:12,372 --> 00:00:13,599
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
2
00:00:13,623 --> 00:00:15,416
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
3
00:00:15,541 --> 00:00:17,251
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:17,377 --> 00:00:18,737
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:18,795 --> 00:00:20,022
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:20,046 --> 00:00:21,923
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:22,048 --> 00:00:23,675
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
8
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,343
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:25,468 --> 00:00:26,668
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:28,012
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:31,849
♪ [muffled] ♪
12
00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:33,434
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
13
00:00:33,559 --> 00:00:35,269
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
14
00:00:41,837 --> 00:00:43,637
Remember when life used
to be simple and cool?
15
00:00:43,755 --> 00:00:45,632
Not really.
16
00:00:45,757 --> 00:00:47,509
Uh, hey, how's it
going fellas?
17
00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:49,386
Butters, what the hell
are you doing?
18
00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:51,391
Well, I'm just standing
around being a kid, why?
19
00:00:51,471 --> 00:00:53,449
How come you're all wearing
those oogy spacemen masks?
20
00:00:53,473 --> 00:00:54,593
These are gas masks,
Butters!
21
00:00:54,683 --> 00:00:54,933
Yeah, if you don't
have a gas mask,
22
00:00:55,058 --> 00:00:57,519
you're gonna get
smallpox or anthrax.
23
00:00:57,644 --> 00:00:57,895
What?
24
00:00:58,020 --> 00:00:59,789
Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna
get the 'thrax, fellas.
25
00:00:59,813 --> 00:01:01,440
What do I do?
26
00:01:01,565 --> 00:01:02,959
There's nothing you can do
except stop breathing.
27
00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:04,401
Stop breathing?
28
00:01:04,526 --> 00:01:05,962
Yeah, you can't get it
if you don't breathe.
29
00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:07,529
Oh, alright then.
30
00:01:07,654 --> 00:01:09,323
[inhales]
31
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:21,543
Okay, next.
32
00:01:24,254 --> 00:01:26,214
Next.
33
00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:28,592
Let's see, Hotties,
Juicy, Whoppers.
34
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:31,386
Okay, next.
35
00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:32,638
Aha!
36
00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,243
What the hell are you
doing with this?
37
00:01:34,306 --> 00:01:35,742
Those are my Hootie Owl
round tip scissors.
38
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:37,434
These are a weapon!
39
00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:38,828
Oh, come on, how am I gonna
kill people with those?
40
00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:39,895
I'll think of a way.
41
00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:40,896
Now move along.
42
00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:42,230
God damn it!
43
00:01:42,356 --> 00:01:44,942
Alright, next!
44
00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:48,570
Okay, clear.
45
00:01:51,865 --> 00:01:53,283
[school bell rings]
46
00:01:58,956 --> 00:02:00,396
Oh, Jesus, man!
They're gonna get me!
47
00:02:00,499 --> 00:02:01,750
Oh, Christ!
48
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,418
They're gonna get me.
49
00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:04,979
Alright, class, as some
of you may have heard,
50
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:06,838
the president has asked
that American children
51
00:02:06,964 --> 00:02:10,550
all send one dollar
to the children of Afghanistan.
52
00:02:10,676 --> 00:02:13,261
So I have a list of addresses
and we're going to all chip in.
53
00:02:13,387 --> 00:02:14,763
Ha!
54
00:02:14,888 --> 00:02:16,407
I'm not giving a dollar
to those towel-heads.
55
00:02:16,431 --> 00:02:17,784
Eric, the Afghan people
need our help.
56
00:02:17,808 --> 00:02:19,434
Oh, I'm sorry,
57
00:02:19,559 --> 00:02:21,371
but I thought we were at war
with these assholes!
58
00:02:21,395 --> 00:02:22,747
We're at war with
terrorists, fatass,
59
00:02:22,771 --> 00:02:23,771
not with Afghanistan.
60
00:02:23,855 --> 00:02:25,273
And the only reason
you care
61
00:02:25,399 --> 00:02:26,709
is 'cause you don't
wanna give up a dollar.
62
00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:28,694
That dollar buys me a
chocolate milk for lunch!
63
00:02:28,819 --> 00:02:30,797
What, you want me to just get
a regular milk for 10ȼ?
64
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,715
Now look, it isn't our fault
that terrorists hate us.
65
00:02:32,739 --> 00:02:34,199
We're just kids.
66
00:02:34,324 --> 00:02:35,468
We aren't the ones
bombing them now.
67
00:02:35,492 --> 00:02:36,910
We're just kids.
68
00:02:37,035 --> 00:02:38,763
There's a lot of crazy stuff
going on in the world,
69
00:02:38,787 --> 00:02:40,014
but we're just
caught in the middle.
70
00:02:40,038 --> 00:02:41,581
It's not our fault.
71
00:02:41,707 --> 00:02:43,226
The Afghan kids are caught
in the middle too.
72
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,626
Yes, but they're
sand monkeys!
73
00:02:44,751 --> 00:02:46,586
Alright, children,
we're all sending a dollar
74
00:02:46,712 --> 00:02:48,171
to the kids
in Afghanistan.
75
00:02:48,296 --> 00:02:49,756
That's it,
end of discussion!
76
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,217
God damn it, I hate
regular milk!
77
00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:02,561
[both speaking native language]
78
00:03:04,938 --> 00:03:07,399
[speaking native language]
79
00:03:07,524 --> 00:03:09,818
[muffled]
80
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,409
All: Aw!
81
00:03:17,534 --> 00:03:19,244
[speaking native language]
82
00:03:26,668 --> 00:03:28,503
All: Aw!
83
00:03:28,628 --> 00:03:31,339
[all speaking native language]
84
00:03:37,846 --> 00:03:39,181
All: Aww!
85
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,100
[all speaking native language]
86
00:04:13,799 --> 00:04:16,239
Another high alert status for
terrorist activity this weekend.
87
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,237
The government said bad things
are likely to happen.
88
00:04:18,261 --> 00:04:19,554
[doorbell rings]
89
00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:21,324
Meanwhile, the world
continues to back down
90
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,784
from their support
of the United States,
91
00:04:22,808 --> 00:04:24,952
saying that they were really
only kidding to begin with.
92
00:04:24,976 --> 00:04:26,144
Hey Mom,
doorbell's ringing.
93
00:04:26,269 --> 00:04:27,604
[mumbles]
94
00:04:27,729 --> 00:04:29,481
Hey, Sharon.
95
00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:31,667
Maybe you should stop watching
the news for a little bit.
96
00:04:31,691 --> 00:04:33,860
[mumbles]
97
00:04:33,985 --> 00:04:37,572
Sharon, you've been
watching CNN for about...
98
00:04:37,697 --> 00:04:39,116
eight weeks now.
99
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:40,301
Don't you want to watch
something else?
100
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:41,451
Sh-Sharon?
101
00:04:41,576 --> 00:04:42,887
Hey, look what
the postman brought me!
102
00:04:42,911 --> 00:04:44,591
It's a big, brown package
from Afghanistan.
103
00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:45,831
That's nice.
104
00:04:45,956 --> 00:04:47,436
We sent the Afghani
kids some dollars,
105
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,310
They must've sent us
something cool in return.
106
00:04:49,334 --> 00:04:50,686
Do we have some scissors
to cut this open?
107
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,830
Stanley, your mother's
a little freaked out right now.
108
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:54,422
Why don't you
go play with
109
00:04:54,548 --> 00:04:56,025
your big, brown package
from Afghanistan outside.
110
00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:58,802
Alright.
111
00:04:58,927 --> 00:05:01,847
Both: Big, brown package from
Afghanistan!?
112
00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,560
Dude, what's going on?
113
00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:08,246
We got a package from
the kids we sent dollars to.
114
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:10,147
They sent us
something back.
115
00:05:11,648 --> 00:05:12,774
Prelim shows
negative, sir.
116
00:05:12,899 --> 00:05:14,484
Then we're gonna
have to blow it.
117
00:05:14,609 --> 00:05:15,777
All: Yes, sir!
118
00:05:18,321 --> 00:05:20,490
Ah, this is it, man,
it's over!
119
00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:23,243
Tweak, calm down,
have some coffee.
120
00:05:28,748 --> 00:05:30,208
Open!
121
00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:34,254
[goat bleats]
122
00:05:35,547 --> 00:05:36,547
Ah, it's just a goat.
123
00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:38,258
[all sigh]
124
00:05:38,383 --> 00:05:39,551
Precious goat.
125
00:05:39,676 --> 00:05:41,344
[goat bleats]
126
00:05:41,469 --> 00:05:42,679
Hey there,
little guy.
127
00:05:42,804 --> 00:05:44,639
Stay away from it!
128
00:05:44,764 --> 00:05:46,659
Terrorists could've given that
goat anthrax or smallpox
129
00:05:46,683 --> 00:05:47,683
before sending it over!
130
00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:49,186
Johnson!
- Sir.
131
00:05:49,311 --> 00:05:50,478
Check the goat
for diseases.
132
00:05:50,604 --> 00:05:51,646
Yes, sir!
133
00:05:56,818 --> 00:05:58,737
The goat seems
to be clean, sir.
134
00:05:58,862 --> 00:05:59,487
I told you.
135
00:05:59,613 --> 00:06:01,632
Those Afghan kids just wanted
to give us something back
136
00:06:01,656 --> 00:06:03,116
for giving them $4.
137
00:06:03,241 --> 00:06:04,427
Four dollars for a goat,
we got ripped off.
138
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,161
Alright, men,
this area is secure.
139
00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:07,704
Let's head out.
140
00:06:10,332 --> 00:06:11,750
What are we supposed
to do with it?
141
00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:13,644
You're gonna have to take it
home with you, Kyle.
142
00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,438
Dude, my mom won't even
let me have a hamster.
143
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,462
Kenny?
144
00:06:16,546 --> 00:06:17,797
No freakin' way,
dude.
145
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:19,400
My parents will never
let me keep a goat.
146
00:06:19,424 --> 00:06:20,860
Well, I guess we're gonna
have to kill it.
147
00:06:20,884 --> 00:06:22,444
No, we're not going to
kill it, Cartman.
148
00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:24,221
We'll just have to take
the return address
149
00:06:24,346 --> 00:06:25,615
and mail it back to the
kids in Afghanistan.
150
00:06:25,639 --> 00:06:26,514
Come on, goat.
151
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,724
[goat bleats]
152
00:06:27,849 --> 00:06:28,600
Uh-oh,
they're closing.
153
00:06:28,725 --> 00:06:30,560
Excuse me,
154
00:06:30,685 --> 00:06:32,330
we wanna overnight this goat
to Afghanistan, please.
155
00:06:32,354 --> 00:06:33,688
Excuse me?
156
00:06:33,813 --> 00:06:35,541
It's an Afghanistan goat so
it can't stay here,
157
00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:38,276
or else it will choke on
the sweet air of freedom.
158
00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:39,778
Afghanistan?
159
00:06:39,903 --> 00:06:41,672
I'm sorry boys, but our
planes aren't flying there.
160
00:06:41,696 --> 00:06:43,114
They're not?
161
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,467
The only planes going
to Afghanistan
162
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,368
are the military planes
over at the base.
163
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:47,994
I'm sorry.
164
00:06:48,119 --> 00:06:49,287
Oh, yeah,
the military planes.
165
00:06:49,412 --> 00:06:51,132
Come on, goat, we'll
put you on one of them.
166
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:53,833
Stan, I don't think
we're supposed to be
167
00:06:53,959 --> 00:06:54,959
in the military base.
168
00:06:55,001 --> 00:06:56,211
They might
shoot us.
169
00:06:56,336 --> 00:06:57,336
I don't care,
we're going.
170
00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:58,564
don't forget to
bring a towel.
171
00:06:58,588 --> 00:06:59,673
All: Ah!
172
00:06:59,798 --> 00:07:01,549
Oh no,
not Towelie.
173
00:07:01,675 --> 00:07:03,819
When going someplace new,
you should always bring a towel.
174
00:07:03,843 --> 00:07:04,719
Okay, thanks,
Towelie.
175
00:07:04,844 --> 00:07:06,137
You wanna get high?
176
00:07:06,263 --> 00:07:07,430
No, we don't
wanna get high!
177
00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:09,391
You mean, you don't
want Towelie around?
178
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,226
That's right!
179
00:07:11,351 --> 00:07:14,729
So am I to understand that
there's been a "Towelie ban"?
180
00:07:14,854 --> 00:07:16,273
[snickering]
181
00:07:16,398 --> 00:07:17,816
[all moaning]
182
00:07:17,941 --> 00:07:19,543
God damn it, get the hell
out of here, Towelie!
183
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:20,735
Alright,
see ya.
184
00:07:23,488 --> 00:07:24,739
Alright, troops,
185
00:07:24,864 --> 00:07:26,509
we'll depart for Afghanistan
in five minutes.
186
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,826
Let's move out!
187
00:07:27,951 --> 00:07:29,536
Alright,
come on.
188
00:07:29,661 --> 00:07:31,222
We just gotta get the goat
on one of these planes.
189
00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:32,286
Isn't this exciting, Tony?
190
00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:33,772
We're finally gonna
see some action.
191
00:07:33,873 --> 00:07:35,583
Yeah, and I hear that
as soon as we land,
192
00:07:35,709 --> 00:07:36,584
we get a U.S.O. Show.
193
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,128
We do!
194
00:07:38,253 --> 00:07:39,629
Stevie Nicks is
going to perform.
195
00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:41,798
Oh, Stevie Nicks,
I-I love her!
196
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:44,676
Okay, it's clear,
come on.
197
00:07:45,719 --> 00:07:47,429
Hey you!
198
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,472
What the hell do you
think you're doing here?
199
00:07:49,597 --> 00:07:51,641
[goat bleats]
200
00:07:52,892 --> 00:07:54,185
I'm sorry,
Miss Nicks.
201
00:07:54,311 --> 00:07:55,562
Hey, guys,
it's Stevie Nicks!
202
00:07:55,687 --> 00:07:57,772
Oh, wow!
203
00:07:57,897 --> 00:07:59,816
Can I get a picture?
204
00:07:59,941 --> 00:08:01,568
Miss Nicks, over here,
Miss Nicks.
205
00:08:01,693 --> 00:08:02,777
[goat bleats]
206
00:08:02,902 --> 00:08:05,113
Miss Nicks, I don't
wanna bother you,
207
00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:07,407
but could you sing a quick
Fleetwood Mac for us?
208
00:08:07,532 --> 00:08:08,533
Could you?
209
00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:09,534
Come on!
210
00:08:09,659 --> 00:08:12,329
[goat bleating]
211
00:08:12,454 --> 00:08:13,663
[all cheering]
212
00:08:13,788 --> 00:08:15,182
Wait 'til I tell
my sister about this;
213
00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:16,291
she is gonna flip!
214
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,601
Well, we've gotta
get Miss Nicks
215
00:08:17,625 --> 00:08:18,811
on the plane to
Afghanistan, guys.
216
00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:20,587
Oh, can we just get a--
217
00:08:20,712 --> 00:08:23,131
I'm sorry, Miss Nicks isn't
answering any more questions.
218
00:08:23,256 --> 00:08:25,383
Oh sure, we understand.
Move along.
219
00:08:25,508 --> 00:08:26,885
She looks great.
She looks great.
220
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,347
Hey, let's put him
on here.
221
00:08:30,472 --> 00:08:32,098
[goat bleats]
222
00:08:32,223 --> 00:08:33,224
Shh... there we go.
223
00:08:33,350 --> 00:08:34,642
You're gonna
be okay, goat.
224
00:08:34,768 --> 00:08:37,312
You'll be back in Afghanistan
in about 20 hours.
225
00:08:37,437 --> 00:08:38,772
Stan, if you're finished
226
00:08:38,897 --> 00:08:40,333
having your tearful
good-bye with the goat,
227
00:08:40,357 --> 00:08:41,437
we'd like to
go now, please.
228
00:08:41,483 --> 00:08:42,650
Alright.
229
00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:44,211
Alright, tango clear,
let's head out.
230
00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:45,487
Oh, son of
a bitch!
231
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:46,738
Hey, wait!
232
00:08:46,863 --> 00:08:48,656
There's children
in here!
233
00:08:48,782 --> 00:08:52,410
[muffled speech]
234
00:08:52,535 --> 00:08:55,080
Dude, it looks like we're
going to... Afghanistan.
235
00:08:55,205 --> 00:08:56,331
Going to Afghanistan?
236
00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:57,767
Trapped in a small space
for 20 hours--
237
00:08:57,791 --> 00:08:58,666
how could things
get any worse?
238
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:00,001
[fart]
239
00:09:00,126 --> 00:09:01,836
[all moan]
Oh, you guys.
240
00:09:16,184 --> 00:09:17,936
All: hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut.
241
00:09:18,061 --> 00:09:20,021
Welcome to
Afghanistan, troops.
242
00:09:20,147 --> 00:09:22,858
Get your gear ready and report
to the barracks in 0-900.
243
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:24,109
All: sir, yes, sir!
244
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,861
Hut hut hut hut
hut hut hut hut...
245
00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:28,279
Oh, God!
It was horrible!
246
00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:29,698
20 hours!
247
00:09:29,823 --> 00:09:31,575
[mumbling]
248
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:32,993
What the hell?
249
00:09:33,118 --> 00:09:34,202
Cartman farted
in there.
250
00:09:34,327 --> 00:09:35,954
We had to breathe
it in for 20 hours.
251
00:09:36,079 --> 00:09:38,099
It didn't smell that bad.
You guys are overreacting.
252
00:09:38,123 --> 00:09:40,667
I don't smell any--
oh, oh God!
253
00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:45,714
Oh, whatever.
254
00:09:45,839 --> 00:09:47,215
You son of a bitch,
Cartman.
255
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,152
You don't fart when you're
locked in a small space
256
00:09:49,176 --> 00:09:50,051
with other people!
257
00:09:50,177 --> 00:09:51,344
Oh, I'm sorry!
258
00:09:51,469 --> 00:09:52,971
Next time I'll just
ask my fart nicely
259
00:09:53,096 --> 00:09:54,991
if it wouldn't mind staying
tucked away for a while!
260
00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:56,826
Alright, let's just get
the goat back to his home.
261
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:58,059
We have to find
this address.
262
00:09:58,185 --> 00:09:59,185
[goat bleats]
263
00:10:02,981 --> 00:10:04,191
God, what a craphole,
dude!
264
00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:07,068
This is like east Denver,
Jesus Christ!
265
00:10:07,194 --> 00:10:09,314
Dude, no wonder terrorists
come from places like this.
266
00:10:09,362 --> 00:10:11,072
If I grew up here,
I'd be pissed off too.
267
00:10:11,198 --> 00:10:13,283
Hey, look,
there's a taxi.
268
00:10:16,036 --> 00:10:16,912
Hello.
269
00:10:17,037 --> 00:10:18,038
We need to go here.
270
00:10:18,163 --> 00:10:19,414
[speaking native language]
271
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,041
[whip cracks]
272
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:22,886
God, what is this,
the friggin' Flintstones?
273
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:27,880
Is this the
right house?
274
00:10:27,964 --> 00:10:29,299
I think so.
275
00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:32,010
[knocking]
276
00:10:33,345 --> 00:10:35,055
[speaking native language]
277
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:38,725
Uh, hi,
we're from America.
278
00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:40,727
Uh, we sent you
the dollar, the $4.
279
00:10:40,852 --> 00:10:41,852
You sent us
this goat.
280
00:10:41,895 --> 00:10:43,897
Goat?
281
00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:45,732
Here, we don't
want it.
282
00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:46,733
Oh, you want
something else?
283
00:10:46,858 --> 00:10:47,943
All we had
was the goat.
284
00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:49,420
Your country bombed
everything else.
285
00:10:49,444 --> 00:10:50,779
No, dude, we're
not ungrateful.
286
00:10:50,904 --> 00:10:52,697
It's just none of us
can keep the goat.
287
00:10:52,822 --> 00:10:54,717
it was choking on the sweet
air of freedom in America,
288
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,952
so we brought it back
to your crappy country.
289
00:10:57,077 --> 00:10:58,954
Oh, and here.
290
00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:02,123
Take this American flag
as a gift.
291
00:11:07,003 --> 00:11:09,339
[all cheering]
292
00:11:09,464 --> 00:11:11,049
Hey, what the hell
are you doing?
293
00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:12,384
They told us in school
294
00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:13,778
Everyone but terrorists
love America.
295
00:11:13,802 --> 00:11:15,303
[speaking native language]
296
00:11:15,428 --> 00:11:16,763
What did you call us?
297
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:18,032
Your country
is the evil empire.
298
00:11:18,056 --> 00:11:19,975
Your government wants
to rule the world!
299
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,061
But your values and spirituality
are in the gutter.
300
00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:24,413
Then why did you
send us a goat?
301
00:11:24,437 --> 00:11:26,106
Because in Afghanistan,
we have pride.
302
00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:27,315
If you send us something,
303
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,817
we must send something
in return.
304
00:11:28,942 --> 00:11:30,986
It doesn't mean we don't
still hate you.
305
00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:33,071
Now, get out of here!
306
00:11:33,196 --> 00:11:36,074
Hey, hey,
open the door.
307
00:11:36,199 --> 00:11:38,243
I told you,
Jawas have no hearts.
308
00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:40,036
Jawas?
- You know, sand people.
309
00:11:40,161 --> 00:11:41,389
How come they hate
America so much?
310
00:11:41,413 --> 00:11:42,289
What the hell
did we do?
311
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:43,873
Well, we tried, dude.
312
00:11:43,999 --> 00:11:45,879
If anyone else in this
craphole hates Americans,
313
00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:47,937
we better just leave the goat
and get back to the plane.
314
00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:49,629
Alright.
315
00:11:51,172 --> 00:11:52,191
Oh, look,
he's following us;
316
00:11:52,215 --> 00:11:53,633
it's so sad.
317
00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:54,301
God, I hate you
so much, Stan.
318
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:55,302
What?
319
00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:57,929
[angry chanting]
320
00:12:03,768 --> 00:12:06,730
Howdy.
321
00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:10,358
Uh... Greetings
from Canada.
322
00:12:10,483 --> 00:12:11,901
Well, boys,
it's "aboot" time
323
00:12:12,027 --> 00:12:13,462
we get to our "hoose"
in Canada, isn't it?
324
00:12:13,486 --> 00:12:15,086
Hey, what the hell are
you talking about?
325
00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:17,008
I'm not a God damn Canadian
and neither are you!
326
00:12:17,032 --> 00:12:18,217
Oh, Cartman,
you stupid asshole.
327
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:21,369
[all shouting]
328
00:12:21,494 --> 00:12:24,372
[all speaking native language]
329
00:12:24,497 --> 00:12:27,876
...Osama bin Laden!
330
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:29,711
[laughter]
331
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:30,962
Good job, fat-ass.
332
00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:32,273
Dude, don't call me
a Canadian.
333
00:12:32,297 --> 00:12:36,468
[chanting echoing]
334
00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,309
[gunshot, chanting stops]
335
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,440
You gotta listen to me,
we're not spies!
336
00:12:50,565 --> 00:12:52,025
[speaking native language]
337
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:53,586
Look, I think I can
explain everything.
338
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:56,071
See, my friend Stan here is
an oversensitive animal lover.
339
00:12:56,196 --> 00:12:57,489
He got a boner
for this goat.
340
00:12:57,614 --> 00:13:00,241
[shouting]
341
00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:04,496
Ooh, a la
bulla bulla bulla.
342
00:13:04,621 --> 00:13:06,039
Oh crap,
it's him!
343
00:13:06,164 --> 00:13:07,207
[goat bleats]
344
00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:09,376
A mulla mulla
mulla?
345
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:12,087
Mulla right to mulla.
346
00:13:12,212 --> 00:13:13,606
Oh, dude, it's called
deodorant, okay?
347
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:14,630
It's not expensive.
348
00:13:14,672 --> 00:13:19,010
The right of the mallah!
349
00:13:19,135 --> 00:13:20,175
[speaking native language]
350
00:13:29,062 --> 00:13:31,314
Ooh, a tukka tukka
mullah mullah.
351
00:13:31,439 --> 00:13:33,566
America is booming
booga booga.
352
00:13:33,691 --> 00:13:35,902
Hakka hakka
first first.
353
00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:37,195
[laughs]
354
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,281
Hakka hakka
first first!
355
00:13:40,407 --> 00:13:42,450
And... cut!
356
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:48,490
Dude, these people
are insane.
357
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:51,584
As more and more cases
358
00:13:51,709 --> 00:13:54,212
of terrorist-related aids
continues to grow.
359
00:13:54,337 --> 00:13:55,338
And this just in:
360
00:13:55,463 --> 00:13:57,715
the Taliban has
apparently taken
361
00:13:57,841 --> 00:13:59,175
American civilians
as hostages.
362
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,386
The Taliban has just released
this videotape
363
00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,054
in which it is
clearly visible
364
00:14:03,179 --> 00:14:06,141
that they have indeed
captured Stevie Nicks.
365
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,892
Miss Nicks appears to be
in good spirits,
366
00:14:08,017 --> 00:14:09,686
though her whereabouts
are unknown.
367
00:14:09,811 --> 00:14:11,062
Hey, Sh-Sharon,
368
00:14:11,187 --> 00:14:13,940
have you seen Stan in
the last couple days?
369
00:14:14,065 --> 00:14:17,318
Yes, I just saw him.
- Oh, okay.
370
00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:19,070
With Stevie Nicks
in captivity
371
00:14:19,195 --> 00:14:20,965
the other members of
Fleetwood Mac have been hidden
372
00:14:20,989 --> 00:14:23,074
so the Taliban can't
get to them as well.
373
00:14:23,199 --> 00:14:25,076
They... took
Stevie Nicks?
374
00:14:25,201 --> 00:14:26,201
Bastards!
375
00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:29,289
Heartless,
gutless bastards!
376
00:14:29,414 --> 00:14:30,415
Alright, men.
377
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:31,833
Grab your guns
and your bibles.
378
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,294
We're going to
get Miss Nicks back.
379
00:14:34,419 --> 00:14:35,753
[all cheering]
380
00:14:35,879 --> 00:14:37,213
The Taliban's video
also shows
381
00:14:37,338 --> 00:14:40,258
what appears to be four
American children in captivity,
382
00:14:40,383 --> 00:14:41,801
though they could
just be French.
383
00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:43,028
We have to help them.
- [mutters]
384
00:14:43,052 --> 00:14:44,345
They are not
the spies.
385
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:46,806
They came to give us
our goat back.
386
00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:48,433
Screw them!
They're evil Americans.
387
00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:51,394
I know, but if we don't
help the innocent ones,
388
00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:53,730
then we are no better
than the Americans are.
389
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,273
Help Americans?
390
00:14:55,398 --> 00:14:56,858
That doesn't
make sense.
391
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,543
Dude, we are speaking
English right now.
392
00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:00,028
Does that make sense?
393
00:15:01,529 --> 00:15:02,655
Alright, let's go.
394
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:03,780
[frustrated shout]
395
00:15:06,659 --> 00:15:08,786
[all singing in native language]
396
00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:13,832
Oh... jihad, jihad.
397
00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,377
[alarm ringing]
398
00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:20,798
Ooh, ooh!
399
00:15:20,923 --> 00:15:22,675
America,
hakka hakka!
400
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,594
Dursha, durpa
durpa durpa!
401
00:15:27,346 --> 00:15:29,723
Boola boola
booga wooga hagga.
402
00:15:33,018 --> 00:15:34,812
Gurba de durka
and America!
403
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:36,855
Hey, what are you
guys doing here?
404
00:15:36,981 --> 00:15:39,233
Shh, we've come
to save you.
405
00:15:39,358 --> 00:15:40,192
But I thought
you hate us.
406
00:15:40,317 --> 00:15:41,652
We do.
407
00:15:41,777 --> 00:15:43,195
Durkka durkka...
408
00:15:45,281 --> 00:15:46,341
Cartman, where are
you going?
409
00:15:46,365 --> 00:15:47,825
I'm gonna go take care
of this prick.
410
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:49,201
Cartman, he's crazy.
411
00:15:49,326 --> 00:15:50,536
He's not crazy,
he's an idiot.
412
00:15:50,661 --> 00:15:52,162
I know how to deal
with these people.
413
00:15:52,288 --> 00:15:53,455
A flibbidy
flabbidy floo!
414
00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:54,580
Jihad, jihad!
415
00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:55,749
Hey...
[Bugs Bunny chewing]
416
00:15:55,874 --> 00:15:56,874
what's up,
Bin Laden?
417
00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:58,585
Aruba
duba duba!
418
00:15:58,711 --> 00:15:59,920
Durba durba hak!
419
00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:01,255
Uh-oh, 5:30,
time to pray!
420
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,716
Ah la la...
421
00:16:03,841 --> 00:16:04,841
tabba hagga?
422
00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:07,303
Allah allah allah.
423
00:16:07,428 --> 00:16:08,822
Ala hagga durpa,
durpa durpa haggalah.
424
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:11,432
[ding]
425
00:16:13,309 --> 00:16:14,476
Uh-oh!
426
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:15,601
[smoooch]
427
00:16:19,648 --> 00:16:20,649
We will have to
be quick.
428
00:16:20,774 --> 00:16:21,854
The Americans
are attacking!
429
00:16:21,942 --> 00:16:23,444
Where do we go?
430
00:16:23,569 --> 00:16:24,945
Get down!
431
00:16:28,741 --> 00:16:33,871
[speaking native language]
[speaking native language]
432
00:16:33,996 --> 00:16:37,708
You murdering
American!
433
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:39,753
Hey, shut up, kid.
America didn't start this war.
434
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,837
America did
start this war.
435
00:16:41,962 --> 00:16:43,714
They started it
years ago
436
00:16:43,839 --> 00:16:47,134
when they put military bases
on Muslim holy lands.
437
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:02,940
Ramadan!
438
00:17:03,025 --> 00:17:03,859
Hey, look,
an infidel!
439
00:17:03,984 --> 00:17:05,903
Ooh, pedro kabob!
440
00:17:17,956 --> 00:17:19,416
So that's what
this is all about.
441
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:22,461
Ishtar fatwah
open sesame!
442
00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:23,586
[smmoooch]
443
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:24,755
Ooh, tastes
like chicken.
444
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,298
The ass of
a chicken!
445
00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:27,508
Toolah foo kabob!
446
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:29,093
Woo hoo!
447
00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:30,594
We're coming, Miss Nicks,
448
00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:31,720
hang on!
449
00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,806
[goat bleating]
450
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,651
Alright, I've had
just about enough of this.
451
00:17:35,766 --> 00:17:37,726
They told us in school,
and on TV,
452
00:17:37,851 --> 00:17:39,871
that most people in Afghanistan
and Pakistan like America.
453
00:17:39,895 --> 00:17:41,397
...and you believe it?
454
00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:43,291
It is not just the Taliban
that hates America.
455
00:17:43,315 --> 00:17:45,609
Over a third of the
world hates America.
456
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:47,574
but why, why does a third
of the world hate us?
457
00:17:47,653 --> 00:17:49,279
Because you don't
realize
458
00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:50,757
that a third of
the world hates you.
459
00:17:50,781 --> 00:17:51,865
That doesn't
make sense.
460
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:53,283
You guys are just
buttholes.
461
00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:54,243
You're buttholes!
462
00:17:54,368 --> 00:17:55,368
Both: You're buttholes!
463
00:17:57,913 --> 00:17:59,123
Yoo hoo.
464
00:18:02,751 --> 00:18:03,961
A dukka
dukka dukka.
465
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,507
Dukka dukka
dukka doo!
466
00:18:08,632 --> 00:18:09,633
[whistles]
467
00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:11,343
[howls]
468
00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:27,234
Ooh, bella, bella,
falafel.
469
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,237
Mi amore,
fatwah, fatwah.
470
00:18:37,578 --> 00:18:39,663
Ah, vino,
mi fatwah.
471
00:18:39,788 --> 00:18:41,206
J'ai une fatwah.
472
00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:49,233
You really think
that your civilization
473
00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,591
is better than ours?
474
00:18:50,716 --> 00:18:51,860
You people play games
by killing animals
475
00:18:51,884 --> 00:18:53,177
and oppress women.
476
00:18:53,302 --> 00:18:54,511
It's better than
a civilization
477
00:18:54,636 --> 00:18:56,322
that's spends its time
watching millionaires
478
00:18:56,346 --> 00:18:57,848
walk down the red
carpet at the Emmys.
479
00:18:57,973 --> 00:18:59,057
He's got us there,
dude.
480
00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:03,937
I got her,
I got Stevie Nicks.
481
00:19:07,316 --> 00:19:08,501
There you are!
Where have you been?
482
00:19:08,525 --> 00:19:10,277
We have another
anti-American video to make.
483
00:19:10,402 --> 00:19:12,321
Oh, video durka?
484
00:19:13,739 --> 00:19:16,325
Hurry, get into
wardrobe!
485
00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,785
Oh, hurry up,
will you, hurry!
486
00:19:20,412 --> 00:19:21,788
Oh, you look
marvelous, darling.
487
00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:23,207
Hakka hamma hamma.
488
00:19:23,332 --> 00:19:24,917
Come on, the cameras
are ready.
489
00:19:25,042 --> 00:19:26,251
Alright,
there we go.
490
00:19:26,376 --> 00:19:27,377
Let's roll cameras.
491
00:19:27,503 --> 00:19:28,754
Oh, and here's
your microphone.
492
00:19:28,879 --> 00:19:33,467
Oh, America
a durka durka.
493
00:19:35,802 --> 00:19:37,221
Uh-oh.
494
00:19:37,346 --> 00:19:39,014
[all scream]
495
00:19:40,807 --> 00:19:43,644
["America the Beautiful" on piano]
496
00:19:43,769 --> 00:19:45,646
We've done it,
the Taliban is destroyed!
497
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,648
[all cheering]
498
00:19:47,773 --> 00:19:49,501
Wow, I guess Cartman really
did take care of him.
499
00:19:49,525 --> 00:19:50,526
Blh-blh-blh-blh!
500
00:19:50,651 --> 00:19:52,903
Terrorists is the
craziest peoples!
501
00:19:53,028 --> 00:19:54,571
[braying]
502
00:19:55,697 --> 00:19:56,949
Oh!
503
00:19:57,074 --> 00:19:58,575
I got him,
I got him!
504
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,369
Well, looks like
the Taliban and Bin Laden
505
00:20:00,494 --> 00:20:01,494
are finally out of power.
506
00:20:01,578 --> 00:20:02,913
Yeah, you don't
need us anymore.
507
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:04,289
Hey, wait a minute.
508
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:05,808
Y'know, you guys
should know one thing:
509
00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:07,584
Most people in America
are good people
510
00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:09,479
who just try to live day
by day like you guys do.
511
00:20:09,503 --> 00:20:10,754
Maybe if you
took some time
512
00:20:10,879 --> 00:20:12,524
to see all the great
things about our country,
513
00:20:12,548 --> 00:20:14,424
you'd see we're not
so different after all.
514
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:15,717
Yeah.
515
00:20:15,842 --> 00:20:17,970
That's fine,
but we still hate you.
516
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,889
Oh...
517
00:20:21,014 --> 00:20:22,849
Well, I guess
maybe some day
518
00:20:22,975 --> 00:20:25,269
we can learn
to hate you, too.
519
00:20:25,394 --> 00:20:28,772
Maybe, in time.
520
00:20:28,897 --> 00:20:30,440
I'm confused.
521
00:20:34,027 --> 00:20:35,570
Great job, troops.
522
00:20:35,696 --> 00:20:37,906
Once again we have
killed our enemies!
523
00:20:38,031 --> 00:20:39,908
[all cheering]
524
00:20:40,033 --> 00:20:41,702
The world is now safe
thanks to you.
525
00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:43,036
And so now,
as promised,
526
00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:46,999
here is Fleetwood Mac
with Stevie Nicks!
527
00:20:53,964 --> 00:20:55,924
All: ♪ Just like the
one-winged bird ♪
528
00:20:56,049 --> 00:20:57,769
♪ Sings the song
sounds like she's singing ♪
529
00:20:57,843 --> 00:20:58,719
[goat bleating]
530
00:20:58,844 --> 00:20:59,928
♪ Baby, said ♪
531
00:21:02,431 --> 00:21:05,934
Come on, let's go
get to the plane.
532
00:21:13,442 --> 00:21:15,042
Dude, I almost thought
those Afghani kids
533
00:21:15,152 --> 00:21:16,945
talked you into not
liking America.
534
00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:18,113
No, dude.
535
00:21:18,238 --> 00:21:19,614
America may have
some problems,
536
00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:21,158
but it's our home,
our team.
537
00:21:21,283 --> 00:21:22,951
And if you don't wanna
root for your team,
538
00:21:23,076 --> 00:21:24,956
then you should get the hell
out of the stadium.
539
00:21:24,995 --> 00:21:26,997
Yeah.
540
00:21:27,122 --> 00:21:29,333
Go America.
Go America.
541
00:21:29,458 --> 00:21:31,168
Go Broncos.
542
00:21:31,293 --> 00:21:32,169
Yeah, go Broncos.
543
00:21:32,294 --> 00:21:33,545
Yeah.